A year without a change

It has been a year since my college life has come to an end. When I come to think about it, it has been a pretty dull year. All my previous posts being clear indications of dullness that has become a part and parcel of life for the past year. 4 years of luxury have been well spent, time to step on to the real world; no one warned me it could be this worse.

Change is what that has been lacking for so long in my life. I haven’t got accustomed to the comfort of lazily sitting at home doing nothing since I dream every once in a while of doing something and turning things around. But execution has been a failure of sorts lately. Since this blog has been my personal shrink for years, whenever I feel that the situation is too much for me to handle, i come here blurt out the stockpile of emotions that has been suffocating me. It feels good,for a moment at least. Please bare with me my few readers. 😦

Another season of exams came and went without making much change in my life. To think of it now, my future depends on some random set of words that comes out of a blue of black inked pen! Some system we have,right! 😀 Well, the time for blame-games have past a long time ago. So no point in making blames at the ever-so-corrupt educational system that we have in our great country.

Somehow, this is more like a vacation I didn’t ask for. Or at least an extension of a vacation that I wanted. Too much of a vacation can spoil your mood; I have learned that the hard way. For long I have been stuck at this juncture having no idea, what to do next. Days go by and suddenly you stop to realize that a year has gone by in your life without making much of a noise;and you still have no clue what’s going on!!

Again, much couldn’t be said about what should be done because the choices are pretty simple. Clear the mess or become the mess! As simple as that. Let’s see what the mystic future holds for me. God bless. Peace!

Stagnant

Life has been pretty much stuck for the past 3 or so months. And just when I thought things couldn’t go any worse, it’s actually got pretty shittier these days. Having to do nothing is one of the worst things that can happen to you. That means, that you’ll do anything from staying up all night and even blogging early morning just before going to bed. You just wish for a desperate change in your ever so fucked up boring life. .. 😦 

I have finished writing my arrear exams(back-logs) and its been almost a month. I’m sitting on my ass having to do nothing and it bugs me. Friends who have been an integral part of my life has got busy with work or similar things in their lives and it’s down to me and my best buddy to be stuck at the same thing in our lives. Boredom slowly starting to get the better of me; I don’t know when I’ll turn completely crazy and start doing random acts of craziness. 

To rub it in, many of the people I despise seems to have found stability in their lives. It’s not that I’m jealous, but I’m shocked by how my life hasn’t changed much over the years! And one of them is certainly my first crush. Oh my god, I do not know where to start. She has already consumed over countless hours and many a bytes of this blog already. And guess what ?! The first girl I’ve ever fell for dumped me in the beginning, then made peace with me to keep me in the friend-zone only to be left alone from my life for good, thanks to my best friend who explained to me what a fool I had become by going after somebody who never really wanted me in their lives in the first place! Well, the present sees her getting married in the near future. Not to mention that she has settled down with a nice paycheck job in a well off place. Oh god, I’m so mad at my self to see where I’ve landed. No job, No degree, and bored to death sitting at home having nothing better to do than to sleep. I despise my existence sometimes. Not that I’m suicidal, but I’m a man of adventure. May be not in the literal sense, but I always wanted constant change in my life. I never imagined that I’d stuck at a juncture in my life; ever! Things looked so different 5 years ago! 😦

Well, growing up is overrated. I wish my life was simple as it was some years ago. Well, that would be impossible. I just hope that I clear all my fucking back-papers that has been literally pulling me back in life for the past 4 years in college. OH god, please show me some light… I’m sick of the darkness.. 

5 Years! Life has sure changed…

Ah Well, can’t believe this! It’s been five years since I’ve started this blog and I have just now received an official Anniversary Wish from our dear fellows here at WordPress!

Well, not exactly a personal wish, but you know that sort of graphical wish you’d get upon achieving anything these days. I’m at my all time low and I just logged in here to burst out as I usually do. Don’t think that won’t be of any help now.

College over. Life stuck at a full-stop. Crawling to make a new breathing space I find my self in a shitty situation,as usual. Don’t worry, I’m not here to essay on poetry and my aesthetic sense of shitty-ness. I’m just a lost birdie seeking my way to a safe perch.

I miss the good old days. Less responsibilities, more fun. Problems were there, I’m not missing out on them. Back in my college days(Now this is going to take some time getting used to 😛 ), my usual worries were attendance lack-age in almost all my 8 semesters. Nowadays, all my friends, my best buddies have found their ways in life and have settled on to jobs or some other kind of thing. I’m the only one who sits in front of a computer and wastes my time fb’ying. Gymming has been a passion off-late. Well, what better way to let out your frustrations and anger!

And yes, its exam season this time! Once again, back to college. Dragging my ass over to that god-forsaken place( Well, it used to be nostalgic when I had my friends around,now its just a ghost house). When you think everything settling down finally,life takes you up and fucks you from all possible directions.

I miss my friends. My best friends(friend). I miss my life. The kind of optimist I am, I can only hope that things will get better from now on. Or else give me the strength to pass through thick and tide. God show me the way..