Criticism: An Indian’s view point.

This is one of those off-my-personal-life posts. So beware, if you’re looking for some usual masala(which I’m sure you guys have had enough of)! For the lot who come and take a view at this blog of mine from the other sides of the globe, a quick reminder; I’m from India.I’m an Indian.

You know, it’s quite a statement to make in the present conditions.Why? Any normal Indian would find this question kinda silly, ‘cos our lives have been in this constant process of turning-into-a-nightmare kinda thing and I’m not exaggerating while saying this. Everyone who reads this blog knows one thing. I’m not an expert in handling mess while I’ve elaborated my self-made mess here for quite a while. Also, I’m not much of an expert in politics,although I had this bad habit of reading newspapers(which now I consider as a bad habit, ‘cos anything that’s news ain’t always good).Apart from that I was dumb. Just doing my stuff. Going around here and there, wasting my dad’s money,living;that kinda stuff. As I’ve grown old with new problems(self-made,as always) I found this new hobby of criticizing the government for its actions. Actually, if one can blame that as laziness on my part, the government ain’t doing any good that deserves some appreciation. To state a fact; daily life in this country is becoming really hard with each passing day.

The Western world often has this image of India that majorly comprised of slums and poverty(not to mention the poor old snake charmers!) which disturbed me for a very long time,actually. I thought of it as the evil motive of the western media to portray India as a bad place and then there are reports of the Indian media that goes on saying about 9pc GDP growth,Sensex hitting highs,F1 in India,World Cup in India,Comm.Wealth Games. etc etc. Mostly its all synonyms and abbreviations that put a glamorous image of India,yet somehow I felt India still had that bad image in the West. I’m not of the opinion that making a point to the West is the supreme factor in this world. But still it showed how we were perceived by the developed audience. Something had to be done.So our government invests a lot of money into something like the Common Wealth Games(argh,i’m ashamed to take that name anymore!) and proclaim that India has arrived!(frankly where were we all this time;Mars?!).And then after basking in the glory for sometime(months,actually) the Chinese organize an Asian Games that proves to be much more bigger than the CWG. So there goes the big elephant(India). And give some time, and we see a HUGE scam behind all this! Frankly, it took me some time to grasp the amount of money involved in the scam(the zeros were too overwhelming!)!! So my question to the Western Media-Do you buggers still think India is poor?! I guess not!

Then there are the likes of Julian Assange who come out now and then(respect him for the work he did as a fellow half-engineer) to throw insights into this “corruption” details The amounts of money involved, who all has them where and how, etc etc. A prominent Indian-Political family(democracy we are though, family always gets its priorities in politics) had the bank deposits in form of numbers which,frankly, until then been unheard of to me! Thanks to them, the common-man of India had the luck to hear of such numbers! There were many sms’s that circulated during the time that showed how difficult it would to just count this much of money! And add to that, we’re being governed by a puppet Prime Minister who is supposed to be under the control of this family. Now I’m scared, ‘cos Assange now tells me that the Govt. has its “eyes” on people who go on gaga about the govt(Terrorists,kinda). Slowly, this place is turning into some Eastern Extension of the United States. We’d be more than gratified if some day, India was recognized as an Independent American State by the US Congress! Thanks a lot PM(Indian,ie) for going in this right path! We like you, will not be have a back-bone in the future!

Then there is back-stabbing on the people by Govt. at monthly intervals. Fuel price hike! It’s like,it’s not news anymore! There ain’t any surprise upon hearing a fuel price hike these days. But we’re only bothered on whether this thing will beat the International oil price!

I know. What I’m doing now is utter rubbish and this will go down along with the millions of similar posts as Internet-junk.The successful ones among us might manage to get some comments and views. I mean that’s what we bloggers thrive on right! But the facts are never gonna be denied. While we all dream of that one day,when our country too joins the list of so called Superpowers, I pray that India remains India on that occasion. Not merely an ally of the west. I grew up reading in history textbooks about glorious stories of the past.The freedom fighters,Mahatma Gandhi and his non-violence,Bhagat Singh’s heroics,and post-Independence, the strong position India took during the cold war period of Non-Alliance.Now I see a common thing that gave us such a glorious past. We surely had strong leaders back then. It was one man/woman and the rest of the country. Sadly, post the liberation period(since the time I was born),although, we had several notable politicians,good ones among the whole bad lot; we missed out on having a strong leader. Leadership is essential in any team-game,let alone a country for I know that much. And frankly, as the citizen of this country, I don’t think much of the people governing me. This is where Democracy falls short. We have the power and all yes.But that’s an old preach. Once we’ve elected these idiots,we never get to see them. We only seem them on T.V afterwards,when they come out to make some of the above said anti-human decisions;fuel,commodity price hike, for an example. Sometimes, I often wonder,on the pathetic situation of this country. I mean, how could we elect the baddest people among the whole lot to represent us and form the government. Strange! I’m amazed at our misfortunes!

Now,I’m a guy who takes pride on being referred to as an Indian. But the last few years,our lives have become so much more harder,many a thanks to our government; I’m thinking anything but escaping from this country. Pride can be taken along with me in being recognized as an Indian,elsewhere;but certainly not here. I’ve lost hope on seeing this country get better as a result of some bill introduced in the parliament or a law passed. We’ve come a far way from all that. If it’s corruption we’re talking about, it’s like this one big virus that has spread all across the system,from the grass-roots level. Maybe our Indian football/hockey associations(forgot,Hockey here has two associations!) could learn a thing or two from the way corruption had grown in this country-from the grass-roots level!! Well, having said that, we can’t deny the once in a while golden stars that come along to spark a smile across our otherwise gloomy faces. The likes of Sachin Tendulkar, who inspire generations to strive forward with determination and hard work are faces of the glowing India. But the underbelly of this country is still grappled with age-old problems like poverty,sickness,along with newly-FOUND problems like corruption. Even though, many come out making proclamations that give us more insights into these matters, it is up-to us finally, to recognize the hollow ones among the lot.

As always,leaving the hope part to the almighty, for he is the only one who can clear out all the mess(which I know it’s impossible). Still,hoping that things would get better. Just hoping.

Point Blank

Two more days to go for another series of University exams.  And here I sit down in front of my computer typing random mind-wanderings as I see the clocking turning to four in the morning.

That pretty much explains my situation. And as most among my few readers would have imagined, I don’t know anything about what I’m gonna write in my exams which would most probably eat me up when its up and running.

I don’t know why, but I always like this lazy life. Or may be it was because I desperately needed and mostly deserved a break. Thanks to all those breaks I took, I had to pay the fine; literally. I shed a good 6000Rs to get myself qualified for appearing in the University exams, which at this point seems terribly wasted.

I spent the last week or so doing nothing but the same things I did for the past few months. Every day just the same with time flying by and not giving me a second chance to chew to something as a memory. Nothing.

Blank.

But not entirely. Vague. I seemingly stare into a future which i can predict. Spending almost half the day sleeping, waking up , taking the bike for a ride, coming back late, watching t.v for some time, having some food, jackin’ off at some old stock, wandering in the net for hours and finally getting some sleep.

My usual day. Summed up in a sentence, and wasted like in one.

All of these doings, if these were doings at all , hadn’t brought me anything special in particular. I see myself wasting time and my age going up hill with each ticking second and all of this bringing nothing but tension to all my loved ones.

My mother, father and all others who know exactly my lifestyle have been worried about me for quite a while. I know, it’s my life. But I’m not that angry 15 year old who desperately want some privacy in his life but forget that whenever basic needs stick upon him. Now, I know that a life not lived for others is a life lived for nothing. Worthless.

All the material joys you would earn out of such a life would,at a point, bore you.

And that’s point blank.

It’s actually not a factual statement, I’d like to convey. But a stress on a situation all of us manages to find ourselves in quite often in our daily lives.

All of these days wasted, can never be lived once again. And I’ll wish for this desperately one day. I can see that. But regrets hold no place in our lives, for it again is a waste of our time.

All those magnificent fantasies I had during my early teenage days, about having a colorful life; the dramatic one where I’m always the hero, seems bit of a hard nut to crack these days.

That’s when you lose faith in Santa Claus and the Tooth fairy. The stagnant days churn out the last bit of magic left in each of us, that we unknowingly become a part of the mechanical world.

Now, you may think,  I crossed many borders while starting from one point and going on from one to the another. Actually , what i wanted to convey was that; when life is stagnant and monotonous like mine is right now,you’d desperately wish for some magic. Some godliness. For a change to bring back enthusiasm and energy back into your life.

When was the last time I laughed around madly and when was the last time I ran around the place laughing like a maniac??!! I can’t really remember. It might be yesterday, or a couple of hours ago. But still it won’t matter if it was just my private moment. I want myself to be happy. But happiness without anybody to share is just like loud music being made to play in the mute-mode.

The same applies to the dampness I feel now. The uneasiness spreads on to others or rather you end up thinking others too feel the same way. Dunno why my mind doesn’t stick to one passionate thing these days.

Passion is really the thing I’ve been missing. I really don’t know whether the path I’ve chosen is still right for me.

My heart says its right to an extent, but as me and my friend would often conclude; I’m always caught up between two things. Neither of the two would satisfy me entirely. Then what?

I hope that all of these confusions and unclear images about my life would change when reality strikes upon me.

That is in the form of my University Exams!!

Now back to where we came from. End of philosophy. Reality is rock-hard and tough.  All of those tests which had embraced me in the past, and all those waiting in the corners; lurking,waiting to jump on me just to take a good feast out of me make me realize that nothing is over. Yet!

There’s still plenty more action coming up and these blank points will come up again. I just need to find something deadly inspiring to keep me busy during these slumps. Love would help, I think.
But the thing that complicates is that , as much as the interest matters, so does the reaction from the opposite party!

So back to where we started.

End to all those philosophical torturing, and I’m sure one would have just scrolled through the entire page just to make a point. And the generous might leave a comment or anything.

But one thing I want to convey here is that, most of my writings often turn out to be my own personal confessions to my own conscience. Just to keep myself inspired in my life.

And everything I receive for such a selfish act; I take as inspiration. May it be those few words from you or my blog stats.

Those are really the things that motivate me during these slumps.  At least, I have something to rejoice upon, don’t I.

🙂