I’ve been lazy over the past few months. Needless to say, my visits here have been few and far between. Actually, life itself has been kinda like this for me in the past few months. Well, “few months” is rather a generalization of the past year I guess, for I’ve been like this for the past one and half year. So where were we then ?!
Ah, yes! It’s New Year time! Another year comes to an end and we’re getting ready to face 2015! We have to make that mental adjustment while counting our ages and writing date on letters! But I’m sure we’ll get used to it; like we’ve gotten used to in the past!
As for me, New Years’ eve is the culmination of a rather forgettable year in my life. Reasons being the obvious ones. The same old reasons I have spent many a time typing down here yet they seem to not let me go any time soon. As my few readers would be knowing, I had completed my college back in mid 2013 and since then there has been an ever persistent monotony in my life. I had a hell of a lot of backpapers( yea, way more than your usual) and I have been trying to clear them off so that I could get my graduation; for the past one and half years. 2014 was nothing but the two semester exams; one at the start of the year and one towards the end of it. The in-between stuff largely remains hazy. Maybe ‘cos there was hardly anything worthwhile to remember!
It’s been truly dull. There is only so much time a guy can sit simply in his house without going nuts. Somehow, I have survived the walk down the crazy path. I’m now like an inactive system. A lot of my resources I fear, have become rusted in the past one and half years. Looking back, what did I do in the past year?! I’m just amazed at how one can spent a year of his life without doing anything worthwhile!! Actually, it used to shock me for a while, it used to have the better of me at times, but now; everything seems meaningless. I’m half-dead; I’m more like a zombie these days.
College seems like a distant memory. Perhaps because it was the last meaningful thing I did in my life. Everything else seems not worth remembering since then. Yea, I had a few trips with friends and did have a hell of a time while it lasted. But there are things that you’d wanna look back and take as achievements in your life. It’s been my curse, that I haven’t had many such occasions in the past few years.
I did hope that at the cusp of 2013, the new year ahead would be a bit different than the previous one. Sadly, it turned out to be the worst in my life. But I’m not losing hope. I know for a fact that there are things in life you are meant to know and experience and wisdom might just come to you by simply sitting idle, who knows. I’ve certainly changed, that much I can assure. Everything isn’t enjoyable these days because deep down you have that feeling that tells me that I should be out there in the world doing something meaningful to me and people around me. Instead, I have been forced to lay low thanks to the academic blunders I had in college. I guess, having fun comes at a cost. Anyways, complaining isn’t really the way to end things. Hope. Only hope prevails in me right now.
I certainly hope things do change for the better in 2015. Future looks more bleak nowadays than it used to in my childhood but I’m not ready to give up without a fight. Everything will be alright, I hope.And as Andy Dufresne has said, Hope is a good thing. 🙂
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