Evolution

OK! So I’m back after having a brief stint at doing university practical exams. All of that with god’s grace,managed to get by me without leaving a scar. I hope I did good. We really can’t be sure of our results when it’s all up with the staff to decide whom to fail and pass. But like I wrote here, after a guy committed suicide, they seem to have decided to take up this issue with the internals a little bit more cautiously.

So,coming back to our life. Blogging. Wonder why the header? Well, it just happens that while I was checking for any sort of comments, I happen to see that one of my previous entries being pushed into the stat area. Somebody checking in on one of my previous posts, may be due to the search terms; but somehow that seemed to ring a bell in me. This thing, this blogging .. this really has taken some time hasn’t it? Well, as of now it seems, I started off as a high school-er in late 2008(Nov) writing about usual teen issues like weak academics,love,other peoples’ messy affairs etc etc. Well, where do we stand now?? Have I grown up as a blogger? Has my style evolved over the years( 2, in fact) ?? I do really wish that someone come across this post and give me a honest reply…

Frankly speaking, I never had to search for a topic to scribble upon. Even now, its just plain,random thoughts that are hitting the keyboard. Let it be anything. Let it be love,sex or even Facebook for instance. Just random thoughts. For ages, I have never kept a bar on things. Especially in this blogging field. This is truly one of those areas where I feel like a free bird. But yea, as they say, free as a bird but can’t shit on everyone’s shoulder’s, can yea? 😉 No, that would be real bad. Like wise, it took me some time before realizing that your words could actually drive negative attention and misinterpret someone largely out of context. Why make someone’s life messy. I believe, i have stopped or rather reduced doing that; nosing into others’ feelings. When you do decide to do something, do it responsibly without hurting others. Lesson learned.

The next thing where I become vulnerable is while talking about love. I can be a real jerk sometimes. All the desperation flowing down like an endless stream, making this place a hideout for my emotions. But that phase; I’m still searching for a guiding light to walk through it. Not really over it, I guess. 😀 Many have tried and tried, but I guess I’m the only one in this world sitting down here and typing random idiotic things that comes into my mind and hoping that someday everything will be OK. That really explains a lot about me. I am, at most of my times,a say-er than do-er. Whatever I tried to do, seemed to end up biting the dust. Still onto it pretty much, never lost the grip of it. ;)Desperation kicking in , ha? 😀

I really tried some off-road stuff meanwhile, if you remember. I did write about our Class XII tour to Coorg. A travelogue attempted and partially successful. I remember getting a few good searches on those links. Aah..good ol’ times! 😀

Then there was a time when I thought, writing was all about being raw. Crude and simply fibrous facts in life like sex. That was when my thoughts really ventured out of the orbit. But then I realized the true meaning of what my teacher once taught us in class. What she told was for the non-caring ones. By non-caring I mean, the ones that are devoid of any chains. Society calls them outcasts, I prefer the term free-birds. And yes, if my friend happen to read these lines, he’d surely think of one of our guys who’d fit the tag perfectly(who also happens to be the Teacher’s son 😉 ). Again, no personal offense intended. Just trying to say that; what I interpreted out of that was it’s good to go out of the orbit. But never too far away from your center point. That’s the real tricky part, trying to balance between both the worlds. Again, coming back to the crudity of thoughts. I got it all wrong. What I tried was a tabloid with masala mixed here and there,asking the reader to fix his eyes on the monitor screen for some ‘shocking’ piece of ‘information’ . But everybody seem to know about all that I had to say. And no body in particular seemed to share an interest in this matter. So quit.

Censorship, was something I consciously bought up into this blog. Not because I wanted to create an image but so that I didn’t want to pollute someone’s mind through my words. Let them think of this world as colorful and joyous as ever. Like the famous saying,’Childhood is the kingdom where no body dies’ ….(I don’t know why I put it here, but it somehow keeps things beautiful )

SO have I? Have I evolved as a blogger. I certainly feel that I’ve grown up. Not feeling proud though. But certainly feeling a lil’ bit grown up. Nostalgia has the better half of mine in situations like this. Time is always the one thing that captures my emotions real hard. All the months and years spent doing this. Typing random key words into the computer screen.Hoping that people sitting in the other end of the planet might just have the same sort of thing to share with you. This really reminds me of the good old diary days. When I used to write down,instead of key-ing down; the old-fashioned way! I’m a little bit proud to say that I had been writing diary since 8th grade.Not a regular one, but still I have this collection of all the diaries from 2004 onwards. Even though, I didn’t write a day-to-day update on most of them, it still feels good when you take them off the shelf and read those few written pages sometimes. Those are really pieces of my life. My life I had at that time and space. Truly fantastic that I’m getting a chance to see how my thoughts evolved over the years.

But one thing won’t change. I’ll continue to speak as long as you provide me with a stage. ; ) This is my opportunity now. : )

Keep Smiling!