Stand-Still : Life hangin’ in a balance.. Chances becoming slim

Finally, the moment has arrived. As of now,my professional college life hangs in a balance. Future seems bleak. My chances of getting my degree has become very slim now. How? You may ask. Here goes the story. My 3 years. ..

3 years back, I joined this prestigious(so-called) institution called Nehru College(Jawaharlal Institute of Technology, to be precise) in pursuit of a Bachelor’s Degree in Engineering. And as time went by, all i got was a lot of back-papers and even more bad reputation. I was categorized to be among the worst students by my teachers(if you can call them teachers i.e). They just took on my life and turned it into a living hell. Humans with the viciousness of a vulture, breeding on my flesh and bones; quenching their thirst by sucking me off my blood. They preyed on me for the past 3 years. I survived.

Coming to the point. My synonyms just show the way I think about the majority of staff at JIT(my college). My actions have taken me to a point where it’s not clear whether there is a path ahead and there is a strong possibility that you may just have to walk back. It doesn’t matter 3 or 5 years you have walked down this road. If there is no path ahead, you must have to walk back. The hard truth hits me like a rock every time. Reality is harder.

AS always, I messed up my attendance percentage(the min. required percentage is 75%) and got a 57% attendance. I bunked classes and escaped from the tenacious grip of my teachers. Most of the times, I was afraid of getting killed by them and this lead to consistent bunking of classes. Whenever I came to the class, they attacked with a reason or the other. Reasons weren’t that hard to come by for them, actually. I was a good punching bag for them for I didn’t respond. My mouth has been glued for too long. It got used to being kept shut.

I still remember that day when I raised my voice against my class-teacher in my freshman year. To this point, I never regret my actions for she deserved what she got. A reminder that there are people smarter and greater than her. If she gets a complex by reckoning this “Fact” , I say FUCK OFF! XX

I really wish I get a chance to beat up these bastards. If there was one feeling greater than sex, I’d say it would be beating up your bosses(in this case, my ass-hole staff at JIT).

I’m not saying all of them are bad, but a lot of bad fishes in the pond may just as well make the good ones also bad. That’s the perpetual case in my college(especially my department).

 So  where do I stand now. I’m at the mercy of these a**-holes. They wan’t me to lick their feet for attendance percentage. They make me run miles inside the college for silly things. They make the best of their time; for the ball is in their court. I’ll do anything they say. I know, you might be wondering why would be it like that after babbling for the past few minutes. I’ve wasted good 3 years of my life here in this hell. My heart just doesn’t allow me to come out of there without a degree in my hand. So, I’ll do anything they say. Fix me, tape me up; do anything. Just make me appear for the exams. And if they make me drop out, I say i’m not going out without a fight.

Sounds fair doesn’t it?

The tables will change in due course of time, I know this for a fact. I’m waiting for my turn. Desperately waiting. ..

Tribute.,the revolt.

“This post would not be one of my usual self-explanatory failures in life, but a tribute. Tribute to a lost soul..

 

This post is my piece of attempt at justice, my tribute to my late college-mate D.Vignesh(3rd year,Civil Engg.,Jawaharlal Institute of Technology,Coimbatore,India) who had lost his life in his tryst with the Engineering dream.”

A few days ago(3 days back to be precise), I had my usual internal exams at college. But this time,things felt sort of right, as I was prepared to face the exams,quite different my past exams. I had studied at least, the minimum needed to pass. I was feeling good.

But as the exams commenced, we returned home following a function on Women’s Day(exclusive for girls). A few minutes after reaching home, the all-changing news came in. A guy in our college had committed suicide succumbing to torture he suffered from the existing system in my college. He had committed suicide for having failed an internal exam.

Now, this is one point where I’d argue with him on any day. However noble his reasons might sound,I do not justify giving up your life for anything when you clearly had a choice ahead of you. He had his choice right in front of his eyes. But he was blinded by his conscience. His conscience, which questioned his very existence.

He had written in his suicide note,”I have had many failures in life, but was never failed by someone for reasons that never existed. For reasons that were false. I had told you my friends,that I would die if I failed in my tests and here I keep my word.”

These are just abstracts from what is a suicide-book he wrote and I mean no dark humor. His death will always be a life-altering one in my life,ever.

AS a follow up of events,the last few days really turned out to be tensed. We didn’t have any class for the next two days. The students demanded justice for the lost soul, by asking the staff responsible for this to step down. Things really got worse in the last 24 hours, leading to a strike by the students against the in-justice done by our staff in marking,evaluation and teaching. Students in my college, for the first time, stood up against the system and revolted against the age old dogma which had poisoned the system to death.

In my college(or in most colleges across Tamil Nadu), the staff had the choice of having the students at their feet for marks and everything. Right from getting into the class to getting de-barred(sitting out of college for one year and repeating the semester with your juniors); they had the power. Their pens could write more than just future for the whole lot of us; and in this case,it could; even death.

That was the prime reason for the revolt. They had used quite a lot of their power imposing herculean tasks upon us , making us work like slaves for some mere numbers that changed our course of life. They got comfy with the feudal system that existed in my college.

This guy, Vignesh, had been the victim of the barbaric and inhuman system that existed in my college. He had not committed suicide,but been brutally murdered by the slayers called as lecturers.

For a guy like me;who, like the most in my college, have come from a background where teachers are treated almost as equal to gods;the treachery they(the people at my college) gave us everyday was back-stabbing.And a life falls. The constant poisoning had finally seen success.Their toxin worked.A life gone.

He was hope.The last one into survival for his family. He had been from a very poor background. He had struggled his way through what might be an ordinary life for most of us. Yet,fate chose him over us. He had been the scapegoat of the system. Cannibalized by the same people he once called teachers.

AS a result of the strike today, the students raised the following demands in front of the Principal and the other representatives of the system:

– -> A meeting with the Principal and Chairman of the Nehru Group of Colleges.

– -> A look-up into the matter with the staff and detailed examination of the staff’s performance.

The first was agreed upon, but the Chairman;being overseas at the moment;couldn’t automatically attend the meeting. He is due to arrive this coming Wednesday.

The student’s then continued stating that they will go on with the strike until Wednesday,till a decision was been made in the matter.

NO matter what comes in front of  us. It has been decided. It’s either justice or a 4-year life, without anything remotely close to being called as. Pride.And we chose the noble one among the lot.

So it is. We have lost our brother. Either you give us answers or be prepared for the worst. We go down,we bring the god forsaken ship with us. We’ll bring you down.

Hope for justice. Let this revolution see success…..  …

“Tribute to the brave warrior who had won the battle but lost the war in the process…”

 

 

If my words could not spit fire,I beg for your forgiveness, for I too have lost my sense to express things in a better way,thanks a lot again, to my brief stint at college..